April 2010


Wildlife

I may have mentioned this before, but when we left Altadena we were especially glad to leave the noisy crows that circled the huge old trees that surrounded our neighborhood.

When Sherry moved into that house, (a small, older back house for a large home built around 1910) she was told by the previous renters that there were other “tenants”.  Sherry was glad she was forewarned, because these tenants, a family of raccoons, would make a loud racket at night as they entered an opening in the attached garage and venture into the attic over the house.  When I first heard them, it sounded like a football team practicing overhead. 

One evening, shortly after we had settled on our new home on Argus, we drove away, and in the large drain at the end of our street, two faces were peeking out at us:  the raccoons welcomed us and we knew we were home.

Over the years, we have been entertained by a large variety of wildlife, even though we are in “the city”.  Squirrels are the most common, but skunks are the most noticeable, and Stoli has been skunked often enough that I now keep a half gallon of vinegar by the back door.  On the smaller side we have salamanders and lizards.  Charlie brought me a rat once or twice.  Opossums are spotted, too.  And one time when I had left Charlie out while I traveled, a neighbor mentioned seeing a coyote in the neighborhood. But our favorites have been the raccoons.

Besides four-footed wildlife, we have lots of birds. Sherry’s favorites were the hummingbirds that came to our yard.  Sparrows and wrens of course, and blue jays and mockingbirds are all common.  But it’s fun to hear the woodpecker in the tree next door.  One morning, a hawk swooshed down from the neighbor’s tree after it had dived down for its meal. We heard an owl more than once.  And in that same neighbor’s tree, we had a royal battle between the notorious but beautiful emerald-painted parrots and equally noisy obsidian-colored crows.  We of course rooted for the parrots.

Before we bought our house, we visualized several elements that we wanted in our home.  One of the last of things I added was that doves would be here.  So when we moved in, one of the first things I noticed was that each evening at dusk about five to six doves would come and bath and drink from the fountain that was here in our front yard. 

The Garden

Much of my adult life I have gardened.  And the majority of that time has included cultivating vegetables and herbs.  But when we moved to Argus, for some reason I turned to the planting of flowers.  Perhaps I had become tired of the mixed efforts that came from my garden in Claremont.  Maybe I had less time.  But I think I wanted the salve that flowers were becoming for me. Wildflowers, annuals, perennials, drought tolerant plants that flowered, plumeria and white ginger from my parent’s house, housewarming plants like lilies, and monkey flowers, and mums.  Plants that attracted butterflies, bees, and hummingbirds. I didn’t start with a blank canvas.  Because our house is old, we have huge camellia bushes of reds, pinks and white. The pink azaleas greet us when it’s still cold. There were several roses that I nursed back to vibrancy.  Our lot is anchored by an old California oak in back, and a carrotwood tree in back.

Over the years I added cannas that I bought at the Sisters’ boutique, a vibrant orange orchid our back neighbor gave me, and watched nasturtiums grow via a mystery.  I snipped varieties of geraniums from my walks through the neighborhood that then grew in pots and eventually in the yard. I replanted a red penstemon that came from a clipping from Claremont, that survived our time in Altadena.  And dozens of succulents and cactus that were mostly gifts from friends and family were planted in my “desert” section in the lower quarter or were part of the backdrop on the patio. 

I planted much of our backyard so that it would visible for Sherry from either the deck/ramp we had added, or the patio.  Our yard has 3 levels:  the patio, the grass and plants that surround the patio on two sides, and the small strip at the lowest elevation with an area for water to drain when it rains.  Sherry also wanted a concrete ramp so she could get through the garage down to the lower level.  Half of my joy in gardening was to show her the latest flower or fruit or butterfly.

About two years ago, as the impact of globalization began to wreck our economy, I decided that we should be more self-sufficient when it came to food.  In Claremont, with a 10,000 square foot lot, the previous owners had done an extraordinary amount of work by removing hundreds of boulders and rocks and tilled and fenced about a 20×20 foot area with sufficient sunlight.  So to plant vegetables, all I had to do was to add compost and stick in the plants.

Here, it’s more difficult.  Because of the aforementioned flowering bushes and plants and trees, I have much less space that receives sufficient sunlight.  But that year I got the urge, I happened upon the “lasagna” method of building a garden.  The key is to stack layers of hay and alfalfa on top of the area you wish to plant, dig in a little planting soil and compost, and stick your plants in that way.  Great idea- but I happened on this method in late May, so the garden didn’t really get started until almost June. 

Not much happened that year, obviously.  But last year, I had several tomato plants survive the winter, and I started early.  Conditions were right that we seemingly had bushels of tomatoes, and an endless supply of basil that I could share with co-workers.  I was once again my own source of some food security.  (This despite the fact Stoli ate easily a third of the tomatoes!)

About the same time as the vegetable gardening started, I decided we needed fruit trees. Again, comparing to Claremont, there was a large old plum tree that produced so much fruit I would spend hours  chucking the over ripe fruit into the compost pile.  The prior owners had also left me with small peach and apricot trees, a grape vine, kumquat tree, pineapple guava bush, two varieties of lemon, and a wonderful navel orange tree.

I gave Mariano, our wonderful gardener, the list of trees that I wanted.  I had a small amount of space and it would be dicey, but I was determined to get these trees planted sooner than later.  The economy was in the tank and heaven knows we would need to live off of our trees!  Two weeks later, the trees arrived and were planted.  But instead of the pineapple guava bush, we got a guava tree, the kind they make guava juice out of in places like Hawaii and Mexico.  Turns out, this was Sergia’s favorite tree in her homeland.  And instead of a lime, we got a Mexican “sweet lime” that’s wonderful but not exactly what I had in mind.  The Washington Navel is a great tree, but is likely too large for the spot I had intended a semi-dwarf orange.  The tree we did get right was at Sherry’s request, a tangerine. 

Home

When Sherry could spend time outside by herself on the back deck, she became proficient at recognizing the several hummingbirds that were nurtured by our flowers. The red ones and the Rufus- the brown one.  She missed being able to do some of the gardening.  She would pull off dead leaves from the patio plants, and when she couldn’t reach them, instruct me to cut them at the lengths she preferred.  Now I sort of felt that this was my world, her art was in the house and my art was outside.  We debated constantly the appropriate length of the wisteria as the vines would twist out to the patio umbrella and nearby trellis.  But we mostly compromised—meaning I cut the wisteria vines to the length she wanted.  The reality was that I wanted the wisteria to be as shady as possible so she could sit next to the old barbeque that had become the home to the shade plants, and the Buddha sculpture that I had placed there for her.

Our favorite time was after dinner, in the late spring and early summer, when it was not too hot and not too cold.  Sherry would sit on the deck so that she could see the view.  The hummers would buzz in and out, and she would identify them as if they were old friends that showed up to chat.  As the sun began to set, the stars would begin to come out, and she would lean her wheelchair back.  She knew some of the stars of course, thanks to trips to the desert with expert star-gazer.

One evening, as we sat outside and enjoyed our time together and the light gave way to darkness, I heard a squeaking sound coming from the old oak.  I knew the sound, and I also knew that from reading the environment below the tree what might be showing up.  And so I encouraged Sherry to come and see, and on that night, we both got to peek up into the tree and see the family of raccoons peering down at us.  I was so glad that she could see them.

This afternoon, as the crows squawked, I shooed one away from the tree. I thought of how we would protest as they pushed to move into our turf. 

I hear the doves outside.  I wish I knew were all the hummers had gone.  I still need to get the rest of the vegetables planted.  I’m undecided on how short to cut the wisteria back this year.

As Liz and I finished the MS Walk today at the Rose Bowl, I noticed that a young man, whom I had seen in a scooter earlier, had picked up his cane, and gingerly walked through the finish line and received his medal. 

As Sherry always said, MS is a crappy disease.  MS stands for multiple sclerosis.  It is a chronic, often disabling disease that attacks the central nervous system. Symptoms may be mild, such as numbness in the limbs, or severe, such as paralysis or loss of vision. “The progress, severity, and specific symptoms of MS are unpredictable and vary from one person to another.”

The National MS Society goes on to note, “Today, new treatments and advances in research are giving new hope to people affected by the disease.”

Living with MS takes a lot of strength.  You never know when new symptoms will emerge, or side effects from one of the common injectible drugs will knock you for a loop.  Fortunately, people diagnosed more recently are benefitting from drugs that weren’t available even five years to ten years ago.  Research has now found that exercise is good for people with MS.

Several years ago, Sherry participated in a t-cell trial at USC, where MS researchers were hoping to use the patient’s own t-cells to create a vaccine specific to them.  This was not an easy process, but Sherry was willing to be one of the “guinea pigs” in the trial, if not for her, but for others’ benefit later on.  Unfortunately, the trial was not a success, and had to be stopped short, but Sherry’s willingness to participate showed strength that I (and many others) admired.

Today we raised close to $2800 for the MS Walk.  These much needed funds will make a true difference for individuals and their families and loved ones living each day with MS.

Saturday, we released Sherry from her capture.  She was released in the fresh sea breeze, on a green hill looking out to Catalina Island. We remembered and shared, and the clouds of the marine layer were broken up by sunshine.  We sang, “This Little Light of Mine”, as Sherry’s light brightened even the darkest day, and continues to support us when we feel her light-like presence with us.  We also sang, “Amazing Grace”.  When we left, families with children flew kites in the light wind.

“Ashes to ashes, dust to dust”.  This is how Sherry spoke of her wishes. Years back, she talked about wanting her ashes scattered under the Delicate Arch in Arches National Park in Utah.  More recently, she talked about having them scattered in Cambria, one of her favorite places, and where we vacationed three times.  Finally, she said, it didn’t matter so much to her, just “not in the water”! The spot I finally chose had multiple connections for us.  It’s beautiful, and it is at the beginning of a story that had much meaning for us a year ago at Christmastime. 

Saturday was Holy Saturday in the Christian calendar.  We experienced Jesus’ death on Good Friday; we commemorated Jesus burial in the Tomb.  But now we are in Easter, when all is made new. Saturday was also when Michelle and Vero celebrated Passover with their family.  As you all know, Sherry was not much into liturgical calendars. She cared deeply about others, and for all of creation.  And she was sure at the end that heaven awaited her. 

In planning for Saturday, I remembered the small box that I had found last November.  Sherry had shared it with me before, and we put some of the contents up on one of the small kitchen shelves.  The box said “fragile” and held her vase collection.  It included some miniature vases, tiny cups and saucers, ceramic baby booty, and other small ceramic objects.  The collection was from her childhood and youth, and was something she cherished.

I brought the box with me, and as it came time to close our sharing, I pulled out the expertly wrapped tiny objects, and begin handing them out around our circle.  Halfway through I panicked, as I suddenly thought there weren’t enough for all.  But I put my hand in again, and there were more than enough.  Each gift seemed somewhat appropriate to the receiver.

I also received a cherished gift this spring.  In a wonderfully connected moment, Sr. Martha Ann gave me the sculpture of St. Joseph walking, called “St. Joseph on the Journey.” One of the other Sisters, Sr. Madeleva, shared with me that St. Joseph is the saint of travelers.  I have learned so much from the Communities of St. Joseph, both of Orange, and Carondolet, and they have been with me at significant points in my life.  I am grateful to them, as they continue to be with me on my journey.  I also have developed deep friendships with others who were “co-ministers” with the Sisters.  In my upcoming travels, I plan to see some of these dear friends.

Each day, it seems another door of opportunity for “travel” emerges.  I will share more about these opportunities in the coming weeks.

Sherry’s life with us continues as we remember her.   May we be as compassionate, fun, quirky, sensitive and thoughtful as she was.  May we be as loving a friend, a partner, or spouse. May we be as good a person as she wanted to be, and was.  We are surely recipients of God’s grace each day we have to be in relationship with one another.

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